Have to vs. Get to

About a year ago I wrote a personal blog post about the awesome perspective that my wife has about the things we do on a daily basis.  The idea is this; if you listen very carefully to how people describe their day, what transpired, or what is planned I would bet that a very high percentage use the term "HAVE TO" a lot.  Q: What are you up to do today? A: Well, I have to take the kids to school, then I have to head over to a friends house to help them with a project, then I have to do some things around the house....etc.  For this Make It Happen post, I want to challenge people to replace the word HAVE with GET.  It changes the perspective in a big way.

Often time when we approach our day, the things we do, our tasks, more often than not people do those things because of a sense of obligation...it's what is required...and thus we use language like "HAVE TO" to describe it.  I think it was about a year ago, and my wife and I were talking about that very thing.  We heard ourselves talking about all the things we HAVE to get done, all the meetings for the non-profit work that HAVE to go to, when the light bulb went off.  For many of these things, because we were feeling an obligation, or the requirement, and by using the word HAVE to, we were starting to resent all these things.  All these things that we know are important, that we know have a positive impact, that we know help make our lives and the lives of others better...but that one little word put a damper on our perspective.   Think about it:

• I have to go to work - Are you really going to give it your all?
• I have to take the kids to practice - Will you really support them the way they need to be supported?
• I have to go to a meeting - Are you going to be focused on the topics being discussed?I have to help a friend move - Are you going to truly understand their emotions?

Just think if you flipped all the statements around with one little change:

• I GET to go to work - Doesn't this help you appreciate the fact that you at least have a job...and drive you to do your best?
• I GET to take the kids to practice - Doesn't this help you realize that the kids love it when you cheer them on...and makes you love your kids more?
• I GET to go to a meeting - Doesn't this help you keep the meeting on point..and make you engaged?
• I GET to help a friend move - Doesn't this help you treasure your friendship...and make you consider their point of view?

You could make an analogy to the whole glass half full or glass half empty argument.  When you use the word HAVE, your perspective is empty and not looking at the bigger picture.  Where as when you use the word GET, you realize that what you are doing has an impact, and through your engagement and involvement you have the opportunity to great things.  So, I challenge you to watch your words the next time someone asks you "What's going on" and see if you use the word HAVE.  Try to change that around and use the word GET...see how quickly your perspective on those things might change.  Even more important think about how the person's might catch on and say, "wow, that is a great perspective."  We all have gifts, and we GET the opportunity to use them on a daily basis to Make It Happen! Read More!

Encourage

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to attend the YMCA Alliance for Education event in West Seattle.  It was an event that brought together various people from the community to talk about the current state of student success in Public Schools.  There was a great presentation by the Alliance for Eduction, with some interesting statistics about graduation rates.  One of the stats that really hit me was the fact that if a student received a failing grade in a class, they are more likely to not graduate.  Some might say that this makes sense...if a student is failing they are more likely to continue to fail.  However, in our discussions I brought up the idea that I wonder if we shouldn't be more deliberate about helping those kids, encouraging them to do better, and giving them opportunities to make it happen (aka change).  I'll be the first to admit that I don't know what the process/protocol is for students that get a failing grade.  I would hope that there is a specific effort put forth to try and correct that, but based upon the statistics and the numbers it makes me wonder.  So, for this Make It Happen post I want to focus on Encouragement.  It doesn't matter if you are a teacher, a coach, or a manager, there is nothing more valuable to the people you interact with than to Encourage them.

I'm probably not going out on much of a limb by saying that everyone has failed at one point in their lives.  For students, this might mean a test or entire class.  For professionals, this might mean not meeting your goals or milestones.  I could go on and on.  For everyone, I don't think it is a question of IF you will fail, but WHEN.  It's going to happen..face it.  The challenge comes with you handle that failure.  Although interesting for another post sometime, I'm not going to get into how individuals can handle failure, rather this post is about if you see someone fail, what can YOU do for them.  If a friend fails a test or class, what are you going to do to pick them up?  If a co-worker botched an assignment/project, how can you help them on the next one?  I believe that biggest impact you can have on someone is encouragement.  Failing isn't fun...Most people don't set out to fail, but it happens.  By being deliberate in encouraging people that are struggling or have failed, helps build them up and makes them feel like someone cares.  I think a lot of times when someone fails, without encouragement from others, they figure what's the point.  As it relates to the Alliance for Education statistics, I cant help but think this is a big factor for why a failed class is a leading indicator to not graduating.  So, my challenge to you is that when you see someone fail, reach out and encourage them.  Let them know that it happens to everyone and find a way to help them recover.  In the student world, maybe this is offering to study with them.  In the professional world, maybe this is offering to meet over coffee for a few weeks to brainstorm ways to improve.  Granted, the person has to want the help and be open to receiving the encouragement.  But, what I know for sure, is that if you see someone fail, and do nothing to encourage them and support them, those statistics are not going to get any better.

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Generous

As you look through my various posts on the Make It Happen blog, I think the word generous could be (or is) used in all of the experiences I have shared.  However, it was at a recent 1/2 day conference with @IABCSeattle where I heard the word in action, and it really hit home.  The word was used in the context of engagement via the emerging (or now established) social technology tools.  It was used by Shauna Causey, a PR Manager for Comcast in the Seattle area.  After getting to know Shauna just a bit over the last couple months, and seeing the tremendous amount that she does for others in the "social media" space, it was fitting to have her use the word generous.  So, this post is about how through her generosity, she has Made It Happen. 

As I started to dive into social media, and began connecting with local people I saw Shauna’s name come up a lot in the Seattle area. In fact, I discovered that she was a member of the same local community (West Seattle). By following her on Twitter I have had the opportunity to learn a lot through the things she shares with the twitter community. Over time, I also noticed that her involvement in the social space was not limited to her role at Comcast, but extended to non-profits and groups like @SMCSeattle @TwestivalSEA and @Voluntweetup.  Given my involvement with non-profit groups I reached out to see if I could get feedback on where to start and how to approach and maintain a social strategy with non-profits. Without hesitation, she willingly agreed to meet with me, answer my questions and share her insights. From this I have been able to formulate some thoughts and structure to help the group(s) I work with.

To say that Shauna is generous might be the biggest understatement ever..anyone that knows her and is reading this is likely shaking their heads in agreement. From my interactions with her she has been a great example of generosity, through her giving of time and talents. What inspires me the most about Shauna is that she is consistent in her message about being generous, especially when it come social media. I have had the chance to see or hear her speak at a few other events and she is continually driving this point home. What I love about this is that it clearly extends beyond social media, it is a core value of life and leadership….be generous, help others be successful and good things will happen.

Thanks Shauna for being so generous and Making It Happen!

Here is a link to a lot more info on Shauna and all she does! Read More!