About a year ago I wrote a personal blog post about the awesome perspective that my wife has about the things we do on a daily basis. The idea is this; if you listen very carefully to how people describe their day, what transpired, or what is planned I would bet that a very high percentage use the term "HAVE TO" a lot. Q: What are you up to do today? A: Well, I have to take the kids to school, then I have to head over to a friends house to help them with a project, then I have to do some things around the house....etc. For this Make It Happen post, I want to challenge people to replace the word HAVE with GET. It changes the perspective in a big way.
Often time when we approach our day, the things we do, our tasks, more often than not people do those things because of a sense of obligation...it's what is required...and thus we use language like "HAVE TO" to describe it. I think it was about a year ago, and my wife and I were talking about that very thing. We heard ourselves talking about all the things we HAVE to get done, all the meetings for the non-profit work that HAVE to go to, when the light bulb went off. For many of these things, because we were feeling an obligation, or the requirement, and by using the word HAVE to, we were starting to resent all these things. All these things that we know are important, that we know have a positive impact, that we know help make our lives and the lives of others better...but that one little word put a damper on our perspective. Think about it:
Often time when we approach our day, the things we do, our tasks, more often than not people do those things because of a sense of obligation...it's what is required...and thus we use language like "HAVE TO" to describe it. I think it was about a year ago, and my wife and I were talking about that very thing. We heard ourselves talking about all the things we HAVE to get done, all the meetings for the non-profit work that HAVE to go to, when the light bulb went off. For many of these things, because we were feeling an obligation, or the requirement, and by using the word HAVE to, we were starting to resent all these things. All these things that we know are important, that we know have a positive impact, that we know help make our lives and the lives of others better...but that one little word put a damper on our perspective. Think about it:
- I have to go to work - Are you really going to give it your all?
- I have to take the kids to practice - Will you really support them the way they need to be supported?
- I have to go to a meeting - Are you going to be focused on the topics being discussed?I have to help a friend move - Are you going to truly understand their emotions?
Just think if you flipped all the statements around with one little change:
- I GET to go to work - Doesn't this help you appreciate the fact that you at least have a job...and drive you to do your best?
- I GET to take the kids to practice - Doesn't this help you realize that the kids love it when you cheer them on...and makes you love your kids more?
- I GET to go to a meeting - Doesn't this help you keep the meeting on point..and make you engaged?
- I GET to help a friend move - Doesn't this help you treasure your friendship...and make you consider their point of view?
You could make an analogy to the whole glass half full or glass half empty argument. When you use the word HAVE, your perspective is empty and not looking at the bigger picture. Where as when you use the word GET, you realize that what you are doing has an impact, and through your engagement and involvement you have the opportunity to great things. So, I challenge you to watch your words the next time someone asks you "What's going on" and see if you use the word HAVE. Try to change that around and use the word GET...see how quickly your perspective on those things might change. Even more important think about how the person's might catch on and say, "wow, that is a great perspective." We all have gifts, and we GET the opportunity to use them on a daily basis to Make It Happen!
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